Our Elected Officials are Ignorant and Other Things You Already Know

According to a recent survey by the Intercollegiate Studies Institute, many of our elected officials here in the U.S. are sort of idiots when it comes to civil knowledge about their own country. It should be noted up front that these results probably need to be taken with a grain of salt, since the survey only included a sample group of 2,500 people, and only some of those identified themselves as “elected officials”, which could mean any variety of things. But still, of those elected officials, 31% couldn’t identify both of the U.S. enemies during World War II. Only 54% knew that Congress and only Congress has the power to declare war (unless, of course, they give that power up because the president asked them nicely). 20% believed the electoral college was set up to supervise the first televised presidential debate. Even if this survey is an accurate reflection of the civics knowledge of our elected officials, that still doesn’t excuse the fact that we’re the ones electing these people. Nearly half the electorate in this past presidential election were apparently comfortable with supporting a vice presidential candidate who didn’t know what the vice president does, and until that statement becomes absurdly realistic, I don’t think we have much room to complain. More details here.

Brain Speak

Scientists from Boston University have discovered a way to interpret speech from the brain signals of an almost completely paralyzed patient who is unable to talk. Dr. Frank Guenther studied the particular signals produced in the brain when a person thinks about certain vowel sounds. He then implanted electrodes in the brain of a patient with locked-in syndrome, a type of paralysis that prevents all movement save for flutters of the eyelids. The patient has an otherwise healthy brain, and the electrodes were tuned to register the specific signals associated with certain vowel sounds. Now, a computer can interpret those vowel sounds verbally, and the hope is that this technology will eventually allow people who can’t physically speak to communicate with their brains. Meanwhile, some researcher in some part of the world is currently in the eighteenth month of an intensive study into whether a self-proclaimed psychic can move a matchbook with his mind. Ah, priorities. More details here.

Yogatwa

Malaysia’s National Fatwa Council (your donations, of course, are tax deductable) has issued a fatwa against Muslims practicing yoga, claiming the Indian contortions are a gateway drug into Hinduism. Like the rest of the world’s yoga enthusiasts, most of Malaysia’s don’t delve into the spiritual aspects of the exercises. Although I’m not sure if, like the rest of the world’s yoga enthusiasts, Malaysia’s are also self-absorbed douchebags. Still, the council of clerics have decided that yoga can corrupt a Muslim’s religion despite any absence of Hindu imagery. Regardless, not all of Malaysia’s Muslims give a crap about the National Fatwa Council, in which case they’ll probably just continue to lug around those ridiculous mats and harass all their friends with stories about how much more energy they have. Or they’ll track down a copy of Wii Fit and do their yoga at home to avoid any instance of public douchebaggery. More details here.

More Psychic Smackdown

"Sister Charlotte", a self-proclaimed clairvoyant, tarot card reader, and palm interpreter has been banned from making claims she can't prove in her advertising. Britain's Advertising Standards Authority issued the ban in response to a complaint that Ms. Charlotte printed leaflets saying she could cure anything from depression to cancer by removing "negative energies" and replacing them with "positive" ones. Unfortunately for her, the ASA doesn't look too kindly upon people making money off of outright lies. As an American and a fan of free speech, I'm a little wary of these kinds of rulings. People should be allowed to offer whatever ridiculous services others are willing to pay them for. But it's the medical claims that push cases like this from harmless charlatanism to outright fraud. And to borrow a well-worn joke, shouldn't Ms. Charlotte have seen this coming? More details here.

Furby: Captured!

Scientists in Indonesia have captured a creature that hasn't been seen in eighty years and looks an awful lot like the uselessly adorable Furby of late '90s holiday gift giving obsession. The pygmy tarsier is a tiny primate long thought extinct. I'm sure that these newly rediscovered animals will be tagged and released back into the wild where we can track their movements and figure out a way to protect their elusive species. Call me nostalgic, but it's times like these that make me sort of pine for the days of 19th century naturalism, when intrepid researchers would search dark jungles looking for exotic creatures they could shoot, stuff, and lock in a museum. Ah, history. Though I guess our newfangled scientific methodology has its benefits as well. I still want one of these things for Christmas, though. I hear you can teach them to say "fuck". More details here.

School for Rejects

I hate stories like this. As a fan of rational thinking and intellectual responses to difficult situations, it’s particularly painful to watch people with the best of intentions do something ridiculous in the name of those intentions. But there’s really no word to describe the proposed Social Justice Solidarity High School in Chicago’s school district. Previously, the school’s planners wanted to call it Pride Campus, and it was intended to be a safe haven for gay, lesbian, transgendered, or sexually ambiguous students who would otherwise be harassed in regular public schools. The new proposal would set up the school as an all-inclusive place for any kind of social outcast, from goths to geeks to physically disabled kids. Again, the good intentions are obvious here. You don’t want any kid to feel threatened or, worse, be harmed at school. And there’s some evidence to suggest that gay teen suicide rates are disturbingly high. But at the same time, doesn’t this kind of segregation just make the problem worse? Aside from the risk of overprotection and coddling, wouldn’t this make the regular public schools just a rampant breeding ground for homophobic, hateful bullies? Also, there’s something special about being the minority outcast in a vast population of fools. These kids don’t need a special school. They need a dark boiler room and a house where the parents don’t get home until late. They need to lead normal lives—to bottle up their insecurity and resentment and seething anger so they can use it to skip ahead of everyone else in college. There’s no point in being a reject when you never face any rejection. Hopefully cooler heads will prevail here, and Chicago’s outcast teens will be able to get back to secretly crying in their rooms at night. Depression builds character, and if you’re having too good a time in high school, chances are you’re doing it wrong. More details here.

Chuck Norris: Idiot

Former martial arts star and part-time Internet meme Chuck Norris has filed his two cents on the whole Proposition 8 issue in a column for TownHall.com. For those coming in late, Proposition 8 was the proposed amendment to California’s constitution that would ban gay marriage in the state. It passed by a clear majority. Since then, several protests against the amendment have been staged across the country. But if you’re looking for an explanation as to why anyone should care what Chuck Norris thinks about anything other than roundhouse kicks, I’m at a loss. Regardless, he explains his support for Proposition 8 this way: “[Votes supporting Proposition 8] weren't intended to deprive any group of its rights; they were safeguarding their honest convictions regarding the boundaries of marriage.” In other words, “I didn’t mean to take anyone’s rights away—I’m just protecting my opinions about marriage by taking people’s rights away.” He goes on to lay out the tired and disturbingly anti-American argument that the gay marriage ban is the will of the majority and should necessarily be respected. Apparently Chuck doesn’t understand that America isn’t a majority rules country. When it comes to basic human rights and civil liberties, we have a Constitution which upholds those rights in the face of the will of a local majority. This is why black people in Alabama are allowed to eat at the same restaurants as whites no matter what any white majority thinks about it. Also, gay marriage is an issue of the separation of church and state, as there’s no argument against it that isn’t based on religious feelings of ickiness about people of the same sex starting a family. But, of course, I don’t expect any brilliant feats of logic from the star of Firewalker. More details here. And for more on the Prop. 8 protests, tune in later this week to the next episode of The Amateur Scientist Podcast, where our own Christian Walters reports from the Atlanta, GA pro-gay marriage rally.