Scientology Going Down (Under)

Australian Senator Nick Xenophon has called for a parliamentary inquiry into the Church of Scientology, citing several allegations he's received in letters from former members of the cult. Prime Minister Kevin Rudd says he'll consider the inquiry, since he shares the concerns of several other Australians over the cult's activities. And by "activities", we're not talking lawn darts or tetherball. Some of the allegations cited by Xenophon include incidents of beatings, imprisonment, forced abortions, and blackmail. The cult says this is all religious oppression, that no government has any right to look into what people say about them, and that former members are no more trustworthy than your whorish ex-wife. All reasonable arguments, I suppose, except that none of them are reasonable. Instead, they might have better luck questioning the terrestrialism of Senator Xenophon. This name is oddly similar to the cult's galactic nemesis, Lord Xenu. Could this all be part of Xenu's master plan to embody himself in human form and run for office in the Australian government? Just show us your birth certificate, Xenophon, and this will all go away. More details here.