Everybody seems up in arms about the fact that the new Charles Darwin biopic Creation has failed to secure U.S. distribution because religious people in America refuse to accept the fact that their tailbones don't make any sense. This would be rightly infuriating if not for the fact that this "fact" isn't really a fact at all. Fact! In fact, it's just the assertion of the film's producer, who issued a statement to the press from the Toronto Film Festival expressing bewilderment that his movie can't be sold in America despite many people saying it's the best film they've seen all year. First of all, never trust what a producer says about his own film. The people responsible for all of Michael Bay's movies would be perfectly willing to tell you they aren't worse than 9/11, but we all know this isn't true. Transformers 2 was at least as bad as 9/11, and those who paid to see it are responsible for the deaths of anyone in the world who happened to die while they were in the theater. You could have done something! Also, Creation was as much as pre-sold in Europe before it was even made, since it's a co-production of BBC Films and the UK Film Council. And as Devin Faraci from CHUD.com points out, very few people (if anyone at all) has said Creation is the best film of the year. Reviews out of Toronto are toxic at best, with many critics agreeing the film is dull and borderline unwatchable. Keep in mind that Creation comes from the director of The Core and the writer of Star Cops. There's no reason to think this movie is any good. So, please, cool your jets and hope that religious ignorance is only being used as a scapegoat to explain why you'll be spared a boring and painful trip to the multiplex. More details here.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Darwin Film Too Controversial and/or Boring for U.S.
Fly Me to Venus
You've probably heard that Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of Japan's new prime minister, believes she rode in a spaceship to Venus twenty years ago. This seems unlikely for a few reasons. Number one: she claims she didn't physically travel to Venus but was instead spiritually transported while she slept. I don't know if she know this, but sleeping often leads to dreaming, an altered state of consciousness in which humans sometimes experience delusional adventures involving ridiculous things like being chased by giant hamburgers or having our taxes done by a manatee in a tuxedo. Also, she claims Venus was "a very beautiful place and it was really green". It's possible that spiritual eyes don't have the same rod/cone functionality as physical ones, but Venus is more yellow than green. And blazing hot. And quite sulfuric acidy. Not really optimal gardening conditions. But more interesting than the details of her claim is the fact that she says while her husband at the time insisted she was only dreaming, her current husband (the new prime minister of Japan, mind you) would have met her space travel story with a more comforting "Oh, that's great". Possibly bad news for those Japanese people who would like a head of state with critical thinking skills, but there may be another explanation. Perhaps the same visual deficiency that made Venus appear green to Mrs. Hatoyama also makes her incapable of seeing her husband's sarcastic eye rolls. More details here. And thanks to Karl for the link.
Bill Gates: Weather Master
This news is a bit late, but I'm catching up after awaking from my Dragon*Con-induced coma. At first I thought this story might be just another of my fever dreams, but the lack of green-skinned, multi-breasted sex workers spelled reality. Turns out Microsoft mogul Bill Gates and a team of scientists have filed a patent on technology that would seek to eliminate the danger of hurricanes. The idea is pretty simple: A fleet of barges would be dispatched to the waters ahead of a raging storm. There, they would use a system of conduits to both push warm surface water below the ocean surface while bringing deeper, colder water up. This would theoretically weaken the approaching hurricane, possibly saving lives and money and binding all those affected into a blood debt with Mr. Gates. But now that the broader scientific community has taken a look at the plan, holes are being poked. According to many experts, the plan just isn't feasible, despite the fact that its basic theory is sound. For one thing, hurricanes pop up too quickly to dispatch a fleet of barges from shore in time to stop them. This means the fleet would have to remain at sea throughout hurricane season. Even then, they would only be able to cool the water so much, and most of the weakening effect would be felt in the center of the hurricane. That means the outside winds would still be fast enough to cause damage and spin off other storms. In short, the cost of Gates' plan may be higher than the cost of damage caused by the hurricanes. Of course, you could argue that human lives can't be measured in dollars. But if anyone could measure the cost of a human life, it's Bill Gates. All his rulers are made out of hundreds! More details here.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Your Sunday Sermon - Unicorns
Hey guys, this is Richard Peacock. Many of you don't know this, but my cousin Thaddeus is the reverend for a small church in my hometown. When he heard that I help out with this "Godless" web site, he insisted he be allowed to do a weekly sermon, to set everyone "back on the right path." So please keep in mind his views and opinions don't represent the rest of us here at AmateurScientist.
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Hello my friends. It is I, the Reverend Thaddeus Peacock, your humble shepherd. Now, I know that some of my sheep have begun to stray the flock. I know that some have wandered away from the siren call of the Lord, and have dabbled with the dark arts of science and reason. This is why, my woolly wanderers, I have come to you today. I'm going to shave you naked and make a sweater for the Lord! Hallelujah!
This week's sermon: unicorns. Now, I know many of you "rational thinkers" like to believe there is no such thing as these majestic creatures. You want objective, concrete evidence. Devils be gone!! Now listen closely little black sheep, I'm about to give you three bags full-- of truth!
Unicorns most certainly exist! They are right there in the printed word of God. "God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn." (Numbers 23:22). "His glory is like the firstling of his bullock, and his horns are like the horns of unicorns." (Deut 33:17). "But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil." (Psalm 92:10). "And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness." (Isaiah 34:7). You see, dear friends? The unicorn's dust shall be made fat with fatness-- how much clearer can it be??
Now, some modern translations of the Bible (most likely written by witches and/or homosexuals) translate "unicorn" as "wild ox." Devils be gone!! The last time I checked, an ox has two horns, ugly nose hairs, and can't restore a woman's hymen by resting its head in her lap, as believed by medieval Europeans! Praise Jesus!
Well, that is all the time we have for today, my fuzzy followers. But join me again next Sunday, the Lord's day, for more of the truth revealed! Unicorns are real! Hallelujah!
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The Reverend Thaddeus Peacock is a licensed Churchologist with advanced degrees in Biblology, Jesusence, and Brimstoning. He may be reached by emailing his cousin Richard at richard@amateurscientist.org.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The Post-Dragon*Con Blues
I'm finally home from Dragon*Con, and it blows. The people around here are just boring. I think I'm going through withdrawals over the fact that no one in my immediate vicinity is swigging from a crystal skull full of vodka and/or showing me the JREF sticker on his/her ass.
You may have noticed there were no video blogs for the last two days of the con. Primarily, this is because my camera shat itself sometime Saturday afternoon, so I was unable to shoot any footage. But even with technical difficulties aside, I probably wouldn't have had much time to capture anything for you. Too busy meeting wonderful people and watching them drink themselves into oblivion while laughing at the very notion of yeti.
But, I do have some footage yet to be uploaded, and that will be coming soon. To give you a hint, I spent an hour following a woman who claimed to be able to bend a spoon with her mind. Actually, that's more of a description than a hint, but still.
I'll also be uploading our live Amateur Scientist Podcast recording later this week. I have no idea if the feeling will translate for the folks at home, on the bus, or crashing their cars into pedestrians, but the show was some of the most fun I had all weekend. Our own Christian Walters was kind enough to co-host, and Jeff Wagg from the James Randi Educational Foundation sat in as a special guest. Also in attendance were a couple of Skepchicks: The Skeptics' Guide to the Universe's Rebecca Watson and Awesometown, USA's Maria Walters. I was so happy to have them, I probably wouldn't have turned them away even if they didn't make vodka-soaked threats against me.
Oh, and some sexually devious French Canadian Sasquatch showed up as well. That guy's kind of an asshole, though.
Anyway, that's what's going on behind the scenes. Look for more Dragon*Con goodness in the coming days.
