Dad Dancing

Why does your dad dance like a jackass? According to researchers at the University of Hertfordshire, it's because of science. Specifically, the science of evolution, which may plant a dancing handicap in the subconscious minds of older men so they won't attract hot young ladies with their sexy moves. It seems dancing well is a sign of heightened testosterone levels and sexual fertility in younger men. But as they get older, their coordination and confidence levels fall. This may be a proactive way to warn potential sex partners that they might be better off looking for a younger mate. It's true that older men can still get it on like nobody's business (see: Abe Vigoda), but they're often too hampered with familial and social obligations to make good sperm donors. In fact, their continuing attraction to women make make their dancing even worse, since they're still awkward around hot ladies. Or, this could all be bunk. After all, it's pretty difficult to pop it or lock it with any grace when you're nearly crippled by arthritis. More details here.