Friday, December 18, 2009

Restless Genital Syndrome

I know what you're thinking. "Maybe I have Restless Genital Syndrome. My cock twitches every which way!" Well, Restless Genital Syndrome isn't what you think it is. And for the love of God, get a doctor to look at that cock! RGS is actually a persistent state of arousal that can be caused by nerve damage. New Mexican Joleen Baughman has it. A car accident damaged a nerve in her pelvis and now she can barely move without getting turned on. But lest you think this is some kind of super sex hero origin story, you should know that Baughman sees her restless genitals as more of a curse than a blessing. After all, there's only so much sex your body can take. Let alone your partner's. But although I sympathize with such a distracting and embarrassing condition, I can't help but wonder if it's not as bad as she's making it out to be. Before her sex drive exploded, she says she had "practically no sex drive at all." I might think differently if I were in her genitals, but speaking as a man who's been aroused pretty much non-stop from the age of twelve or so, I can safely say I've learned to adapt. Pro tip: If you ever want to concentrate on anything, Mrs. Baughman, I'd suggest avoiding vibrating public transportation seats, episodes of "Mad Men", and corduroy pants. More details here.