Spread the Solitude

Ever since Tiger Woods abruptly stopped text messaging me, I've been feeling a little lonely. I mean, if an international superstar athlete (sort of) no longer wants to come over and show me his favorite club, how could I expect anyone else to want me? Well, if you're thinking of offering some comfort, it might be best to stay away. According to a new study conducted by scientists at the University of Chicago, the University of California - San Diego, and Harvard, loneliness can be contagious. It seems like the lonelier we are, the more we treat our friends like shit. This pushes us to the social fringes. Consequently, our friends start feeling neglected by us, thus increasing their loneliness. It's a depressing cycle, since no matter how many Wilco songs you hear, it's tough to fight loneliness once it's set in. But I wonder if these researchers were wise to publish this study. If everyone knows loneliness is catching, they'll probably start avoiding each other. Eventually you'll all be just like me: spending your Saturday nights at home alone with a tub of Cherry Garcia and a worn out VHS copy of the 1998 PGA Tour. More details here.