How to Beat Your Wife

Looking to add the spark of physical punishment back into your marriage? Muslim Saudi cleric Muhammad Al-'Arifi kindly appeared on Kuwaiti television to educate husbands in just how to beat their wives into submission. Always a softy, Al-'Arifi says wives should only be beaten after several verbal admonishments and withholding of sex. If she's still all uppity, he says it's fine to go ahead and beat her, but not in the face. "If he beats her, the beatings must be light and must not make her face ugly," he helpfully suggests. Who knew a Muslim cleric would have anything in common with Sean Connery? You can watch the video of Al-'Arifi dispensing his relationship advice here, but I warn you that this site tried really hard to crash my browser.