Don't Ask, Don't Scout

While President Obama is trying to end military discrimination against homosexuals by working with congress instead of, say, using his goddamn authority as commander-in-chief to tell the military to just fucking cut it out, a group of 26 congresspeople have petitioned the Boy Scouts of America to end their ban on gay members. For the dirty foreigners out there, Boy Scouts of America is a private organization devoted to teaching young boys how to sew badges, whittle little race cars, and pluck chiggers and weevils off their khaki shorts. All of this, of course, is in service to God, who not only loves a crisp khaki short but absolutely cannot abide queers. This petition was spurred by a recent case in Vermont, where a lesbian couple were forbidden to enter their 10-year-old son into the Scouts for fear they would "push their lifestyle on the boys". Seems a little harsh, especially considering how difficult it is to turn a young boy into a full-blown lesbian. Still, as a private organization, the Scouts are allowed to keep out whomever they please, which, in addition to homos, also usually includes socially well-adjusted children with better things to do than race captured beetles in the woods. More details here.