Cleanse Your Inner Paltrow

Not all of us can be as wonderfully fit and vivacious as professional “actor” and part-time lumber source Gwyneth Paltrow (pictured here in character as a gift-wrapped bag of twigs). Which is why she created GOOP.com, the website and newsletter wherein she tells you how to eat, play, live, and poop just like her. Seriously, she tells you about her poop. Her latest bit of wisdom? Promoting a “detox” diet developed by “detox specialist” Dr. Alejandro Junger. Why am I putting “detox” in scare quotes? Because it doesn’t really mean anything. Anything you shove down your throat (or up your ass, for that matter) to cleanse toxins from your system does nothing for your health since your body isn’t full of toxins. Like the word “energy”, people with no critical thinking skills use the word “toxin” to mean whatever they want without providing anything like evidence to show what it even is. Regardless, Paltrow just knows she’s full of toxins, so she recently tried out Dr. Junger’s suggested diet of one solid meal a day sandwiched by two liquid ones. Now she says she lost some weight and feels “pure”. I know it seems miraculous that a diet of very little actual food might lead to weight loss, but this is really just science. And what inspired Gwyneth to try this new diet out? According to her, it was guilt about the extra pounds she’d gained after a month-long “relax and enjoy life phase”. Good thing she learned to stop relaxing and enjoying life before it was too late. More details here.