Telling Teens a Secret (Lie)

You're all familiar with The Secret, right? It's a multimedia phenomenon perpetrated by Rhonda Byrne and spread through the bullshit megaphone that is Oprah Winfrey's television empire. Through a bestselling book and impulse buy DVD, Byrne convinced millions of people with little to no critical thinking skills that they could receive whatever they wanted simply by wishing for it. This is a slight variation on the age-old nonsense of "positive thinking". Oprah herself claimed to use The Secret to achieve all of her success. After all, she wanted to be rich and famous, and that's exactly what she is. The only trouble is that every person on the planet who is rich and famous started by wanting to be rich and famous. We all want to be rich and famous! Those of us who aren't just happen to be shit out of luck. But enough good things happen to us that it's easy to fool ourselves into thinking they happened because we wanted them to. Unless you're clinically depressed, you're always thinking positively. Or at least hoping for the best. But since the The Secret gravy train seems to be rolling to a stop, Byrne and her partner in bullshit Paul Harrington have decided to bring their nonsense to a younger generation. You know, the sexters. Which is why they're releasing The Secret to Teen Power. It's sort of like Chicken Soup for the Teenager's Soul, only it's even more worthless and degrading to the intelligence of our nation's youth. A youth, by the way, that has an obscene amount of disposable income and a greedy desire to have absolutely everything. This may be the perfect audience, actually. More details here.