Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Bin Laden Hunter

A 52-year-old contractor from Colorado has been arrested trying to cross the Pakistan/Afghanistan border. According to Pakistani police, Gary Faulkner says he was on a mission to kill Osama bin Laden for organizing the destruction of the World Trade Center on... The date escapes me. Isn’t that weird? Anyway, Faulkner was caught with a pistol, night vision goggles, some Christian literature (“Twilight” books, most likely), and a sword. It’s the sword part that’s getting all the ridicule here, since swords are what crazy people use on assassinations. But I think this was just due diligence on Faulkner’s part. Every government in the world has been hunting bin Laden for almost a decade now, and he’s consistently eluded capture or death. There’s a good chance bin Laden is actually an immortal, in which case severing his head may be the only tried and true method of killing him. So it’s possible the sword was simply a corpse desecrating tool. An insurance policy, you might say. Plus, decapitating him would also keep bin Laden from rising from the grave as a vampire. (“Twilight”.) More details here.