Guppy Spunk

Scientists at the University of Western Australia have determined that ugly guppies have better sperm. There's a lot of competition between males in the guppy world. Baby batter that can swim harder and faster than its rivals has a better chance of getting a lady pregnant, which is all those uptight guppy chicks are interested in. Some males try to get a leg up on their rivals by making sure they're as colorful and attractive as possible. But these males often tend to have weaker sperm, which may explain their overcompensation. It's important to note, however, that the same theory doesn't hold true in humans. Many men would like to think that attractive guys who put a minimal amount of effort into their appearance are secretly sexual retards, but that just isn't the case. It's less likely that a soiled t-shirt-wearing video gamer with a grease helmet will have robust sperm than it is his sperm have been permanently irradiated by the years he's spent warming his balls on the power brick of a Sega Dreamcast. More details here.