De Blob

Scientists at the University of Essex have completed a study comparing the physical fitness of professional video gamers to pro athletes. Turns out the athletes are in better shape, which probably has something to do with the fact that they move around a lot. Thanks, science! While gamers may have better than average reflexes and coordination, they can barely make it to the bathroom without doubling over in agony. But again, this is to be expected from a group of people whose urine is 98% Mountain Dew. More surprising is the fact that professional gamers even exist. Apparently, they can make tens of thousands of dollars per year in prize money, but I wonder about the actual statistics on that. Gamers are often known to stretch the truth. For example, many of them claim “Gears of War” is actually a fun game rather than a mindless slog through an oatmeal-gray universe of shouts and steroids. And despite a total lack of corroborating evidence, some say the reason I’m so terrible at “Gears of War” multiplayer is because I’m “a fucking faggot”. More details here.