Thursday, April 16, 2009

Paul Proposed Privateer Program. Purpose? Pirates.

Ron Paul, the galactic overlord of 9/11 truthers, antisemitic conspiracy theorists, and tinfoil hat models, has proposed a tried and true solution to our current pirate problem. He says the U.S. government should once again issue letters of marque to private companies and citizens who wish to arm themselves and go off hunting pirates without the aid of taxpayer money. In the Age of Scurvy, these privateers were rewarded for their services by being allowed to keep whatever booty they could claim from their pirate enemies. Sure, modern day pirates don't horde treasure chests so much as hold people for ransom, but I'm sure the government could come up with some sort of compensation. Chuck E. Cheese vouchers? I don't know. But while I normally ridicule Paul's obsession with turning America into an isolationist echo chamber, I stand behind this idea. For one thing, I'd rather the government spent taxpayer money on more pressing issues than pirate hunting. And for another, I've always wanted to be a privateer. Plus, I'd love to see the look on Ron Paul's face when the Letters of Marque office becomes another bloated, money-sucking bureaucracy. More details here.

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