Russian Cops Told How Not to be Dicks

Even though its the glorious motherland with a sexy and infallible ruler in Vladimir Putin's penis, Russia has been in some dire straights recently. Protests are erupting all over the country, mostly in response to the government's gross mishandling of the global economic apocalypse, but also because the state infrastructure seems to be a wretched hive of scum and villainy. In an effort to improve the image of their police force, the Ministry of Internal Affairs has drawn up a code of conduct to distribute among Russia's finest. But while these guidelines are all good ideas, their odd specificity is a bit unsettling. Among the newly discouraged behaviors for Russian cops? Gambling in casinos, engaging in "indiscriminate sex", having "questionable relationships with people with negative public reputations such as criminals", getting drunk on the job, talking on cell phones on public transportation (that's so annoying), doing drugs, offering or accepting bribes, and taking part in "gross jokes and wicked irony". That last one might seem a little odd until you realize that most Russian police officers moonlight as alternative standup comedians. More details here.