Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Psychic on the Lam

A self-proclaimed psychic (is there any other kind?) going by the name Senora Monica claimed she could read your tarot cards or palms, interpret your dreams, reunite you with your lost love, cure your problems in the sack, cure your nervousness, help you find a job, and treat you for drug and alcohol addiction. All with the power of her MIND! And that's not all. She also claimed to perform spells, counter spells, and love spells. This woman's so useful, you might as well call her Slapchop. But some people who went to Senora Monica for tarot readings were also dupes into giving her their money so that she might "cleanse" it in exchange for a small fee. What they didn't realize that the small fee was actually all of their money. And she didn't so much "cleanse" it as "run off with it". Now police are on the hunt for her. If you have any information about Senora Monica's whereabouts, please call Lakewood police at 253-830-5000. And if you're ever tempted to hand over some cash so it can be psychically cleansed, please slap yourself in the mouth. More details here.