Abduction by the Dashboard Light

The Mutual UFO Network released details of their investigation into the claims of two New Hampshire teens who say they were assaulted by a mysterious craft. The 18-year-old girl and 16-year-old boy allegedly borrowed the girl's car for a nighttime drive/fingerbanging session. When the girl looked up at the moon, she saw a black UFO approaching the car from above. The car was lifted into the air and dropped 180 feet away before the UFO fled. According to MUFON's investigation, the car suffered about $5,000 in damage to the underside and a cracked windshield, plus the asphalt curb at the impact site appears to be damaged. There's really no way of proving whether or not these teenagers are telling the truth, since any number of things could have damaged the car, not least of which being an uncontrolled spin-out following a successful fingerbanging session. But I really hope extraterrestrials aren't involved, as I certainly don't want to think any interstellar species could be so prudish as to mess with horny teenagers in the middle of nowhere. If they'd dumped abstinence-only education pamphlets from an airlock before flying away, I'd say this should be considered an act of war. More details here.