Friday, April 30, 2010


Do you enjoy words? How about when those words are organized into sentences? Okay, now tell me this: Do you like those sentences to be arranged in such a way that reading them conveys some type of narrative? Well, then you might be interested to know that I arrange words and sentences in that very fashion. I call this process "writing short stories". No, these aren't necessarily stories about the short. They're just the type of thing you might take in all in one sitting.

"Fuck you," you might be saying. "How dare you tell me this when there's no way I can consume your stories? Why do you always have to be such a goddamn tease?"

Hold on, now. This where it gets good. See, you can read my stories through the magic of modern technology. Do you have a thing with a screen on it? Then chances are good you also have access to the Amazon Kindle service. No need to own the Kindle device itself. You can download the free Kindle app for your PC, Mac, iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch, or your Blackberry.

Wait, wait! Come back! I haven't told you why you should care yet. Yes, there are a bunch of books and crap you can download through the Kindle store, but those all suck. What you really want to read are my aforementioned stories! "Told you I wasn't a tease," I say while slapping your hand away from my cock cleavage.

Some are comic. Some are serious. Some are comically serious. All are just 99 American cents, and all may be previewed for free. (Also, they're DRM-free, if you care to pirate. [Please don't.]) I'll be releasing a new story every week. The first is called "The Distance Between Here and There" and is about a physically handicapped man who makes his first surrealistic connection with another human. Find it here. If you like it, why not leave a review? "If you don't like it, why not suck on this?" I ask before slapping your hand away from my cock cleavage.

You'll notice that there's a pretentious middle initial in my name on Amazon. This is to stand out from some impostor who also writes things. Also, I'm a stuck up artfag.

Thank you for your attention.