Anti-Scientology Swordsman Killed

A bald, tattooed gentleman dual-wielding a couple of samurai swords was shot and killed by a security guard at the Cult of Scientology's Celebrity Centre in Hollywood after charging the building in some kind of crazy rage. A cult spokesperson said the man had a "relationship" with the cult a while back, but no further details were available. Since the guy wasn't wearing a ridiculous mask, it's probably safe to assume he had nothing to do with the anti-Scientology group Anonymous, though he may have been a member of the international terrorist organization known as Cobra. But he obviously had some kind of beef with the cult. Could he have been one of the unlucky few chosen to service L. Ron Hubbard aboard his international waters pleasure yacht? Perhaps. More likely, he was just insane. But let this be a lesson to everyone that the best way to protest oppressive cults is with the pen, not with two samurai swords. More details here.