Friday, January 15, 2010

Chicken Chup

Cesar Garcia knew there's was something strange stalking his Horizon City, Texas property when his rabbits suddenly came down with a case of the spooks, his cat wouldn't leave the roof of his house, and his dog and roosters went deathly silent. He woke up one morning to find thirty of his chickens had been killed. Their bodies were stacked in a pile, but there was no blood at the scene of the murder. Each of them had two small puncture wounds and nothing more. So, Mr. Garcia turned to the internet, which told him he'd probably been the victim of El Chupacabra, the legendary goat sucking monster that's alternately been described as a ghoulish black dog, a spiny alien humanoid, a monstrous bat-like creature, or "Joan Rivers-ish". There may not be any reputable photographs of the beast. There may not be any corpses or droppings or anything else approaching physical evidence of its existence. But something's happening here, right? And if it's not El Chupacabra, what could it be? Unfortunately for Mr. Garcia, there's really only one other option, and it's even more terrifying than a red-eyed nocturnal demon creature. If my sources are correct, this could be the work of a brooding teenage vampire with dreamy cheekbones, a preternatural power over personality-impaired human females, and a non-threatening habit of drinking only the blood of animals. I hope you don't have a daughter, Mr. Garcia. For God's sake, I hope you don't have a daughter. More details here.