Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Norris on Obama

Chuck Norris has had an interesting and varied career. He's gone from being that white guy who fought Bruce Lee one time to that white guy who ranks just below Steven Seagal on the list of compelling straight-to-video action stars of the '80s and '90s. His golden (beard) years have seen him play the part of internet meme alongside those weird little creatures who sing about how much they like the moon and that fat kid practicing his lightsaber moves with a stick. Now, Norris has become an icon of the aggressively uneducated Fox News conservative movement. As evidenced by the non-suicide of Saturday Night Live alum Victoria Jackson, they'll take whoever they can get. The only problem is that getting a hug from John McCain one time has made Norris think his opinions matter. He has a World Net Daily column that has recently become a dispenser for Glenn Beck-fueled conspiracy theories. On December 17th, President Obama signed an executive order granting new "privileges, exemptions, and immunities" to Interpol, the international police organization meant to facilitate communication between different countries' law enforcement agencies. It's likely these new powers don't involve anything like new jurisdiction to arrest foreign citizens, but who really knows? Well, Chuck Norris does. Citing little to no evidence, Norris says Obama signed the order specifically to exempt Interpol's New York office from Freedom of Information Act requests, so that he may use this office as a "secret vault" for documents about the war on terror that the president wants to hide from the public. Which seems a little far-fetched, considering the Bush administration successfully hid all of its questionable documents by invoking the executive privilege of "not telling". But to Norris, the coincidences are just too numerous to ignore. "Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order, and that the feds want to try these 9/11 terrorists in civilian courts rather than military courts?" Norris writes. I think what he's getting at here is that it's suspicious that the order exempts Interpol's New York office from FOIA requests while the trials of certain 9/11 suspects are planned to also take place in New York. Obviously, this logic is airtight. If anything, Norris doesn't go far enough. Why doesn't he say anything about David Letterrman's involvement in all this? Doesn't he realize Letterman's show is taped in New York? Seems like public knowledge to me. What's Chuck Norris trying to hide? We're through the looking glass here, people. More details here.