Thursday, May 15, 2008

Attack of the Vader

All religions have their critics. Catholics have the Protestants. Scientologists have Anonymous. Mormons have humans with critical thinking skills. But no critic is more deadly than a battle-scarred, force-wielding Sith lord. Which is why I will never join the Jedi church. You're just asking for trouble. Which is why Barney Jones, the founder of the church, shouldn't have been surprised when Arwel Wynne Hughes, a 27-year-old in a Darth Vader mask and wearing a trash bag as a cape, attacked him with a metal crutch. No, Hughes wasn't motivated by the inexplicable death of his kind of wooden secret wife. Instead, he'd just imbibed nearly 2 1/2 gallons of boxed wine. Luckily for prosecutors, the Church of Jediism caught the attack on video, having set up cameras to film themselves lightsaber dueling. Yes, that's right. Hughes was sentenced to a two month suspended jail sentence and a few hundred dollars in court costs. If only the real Jedi hadn't tried to stand up to Darth Vader's rampaging clone armies and instead simply sued the skirt off him. More details here.

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