Jack Thompson: MILF Hunter

Florida may not be known for its fertile soil, but it sure it good at growing a few things. Namely, theme parks, discontent, and crazy sons of bitches like religious advocate and anti-video game crusader Jack Thompson (pictured here holding what looks like a fun game). Thompson has long been an insignificant tick on the back of the money-bloated monsters behind the Grand Theft Auto games, and he recently wrote a letter to the mother of Strauss Zelnick, chairman of Take-Two Interactive, GTA's publisher. In the letter, he spouts off a few Bible quotes (always classy), compares himself to John the Baptist (though admittedly less headless), and blames recent cop killings in Alabama on Grand Theft Auto IV. Apparently Mr. Thompson is unaware that cop killings occurred long before the advent of video games, as the police often place themselves in dangerous situations involving criminals with guns. But that kind of logic won't stop Thompson, who goes on to describe GTA as a murder simulator. While it's true that casual murder is quite enjoyable in any GTA game, I'd hasten to add that it can also be appreciated as a driving simulator, a swimming simulator, a prostitution simulator, and a blowing up helicopters with a rocket launcher simulator--only a few of which have occurred in reality since the launch of GTA IV last week. And if Mr. Zelnick's mother is reading this, please tell your son to release a patch so I can finally play my copy of his sinful simulator without paralyzing my Xbox 360 every five minutes. More details here.