Not so Superheroes

Is there a schlubby manual laborer with a minimal amount of martial arts training and a spray-painted unitard protecting the mean streets of your neighborhood at night? If the current trend of costumed vigilantism continues, it's only a matter of time. Cities all across the U.S. are currently nestled under the watchful eyes of homemade superheroes who wander around after dark looking for muggers or people having trouble getting their cars started. Oh, and they wear spandex. Phoenix, Arizona has the Green Scorpion. New York has Terrifica. Indianapolis has Mr. Silent (pictured here with his partner, Doktor Discord). And all of these people have delusions of grandeur. The biggest blow to a real-life superhero has to be the depressing lack of real-life supervillains knocking over banks and plotting to blow up the moon. Many of these heroes report being too intimidated to confront armed criminals, some arrive at the scene of a crime only to find the cops already there, and even more just wander around all night looking bored behind their spirit gummed masks. Law enforcement officials seem bemused by the whole idea, though they also point out that the notorious Crips and Bloods gangs started as community vigilante groups. So, forming your own ragtag Justice League may have unforseen consequences. After all, who watches the watchmen? Anyway, the Times Online article on homemade heroes is a gem, if only for the gun nut commentator who recommends our would-be protectors register to legally carry concealed firearms. Apparently he doesn't realize that a true hero scoffs at the lethal use of force. Also, there's nowhere to keep a Glock in a pair of tights. Read the whole article here.