Poor, Dumb Kids

In what will surely prove to be a totally uncontroversial study, scientists at U.C. Berkeley found that children from poor families tend to have less developed brains than those who are more well off. They hooked a group of nine to ten-year-old children to electroencephalographs. Half of the children were from a lower economic class, and the other half were rich ass bastards. The poor kids demonstrated brain physiology patterns similar to adults with damage in their frontal lobes. They don’t know what could have caused this brain functioning discrepancy, though they theorize that it might have something to do with the stressful and otherwise intellectual stimulus-free lives these children lead. Psychology professor Robert Knight even floats the idea that fewer trips to museums might have something to do with it. Regardless, it’s believed that any brain underdevelopment could be reversed through intensive educational training, though, tragically, such training is too expensive for poor people. (Just kidding. I hope.) Oh, and there’s one more relevant fact here. The sample size for this study was only twenty-six. So it could all be a bunch of bunk. More details here.