Smart Sperm

British scientists at the Institute of Psychiatry have published a study that found intelligent men have a better sperm count than dolts. This might explain why I impregnated so many of my graduate committee chairs... Anyway, they looked at the intelligence tests of Vietnam War vets and compared those to measures of the numbers, concentration, and robustness of their sperm. Previously, it was thought that any relation between intelligence and sperm count had to do with the fact that more intelligent men are less likely to engage in sperm count lowering practices like smoking and sitting naked on hot stoves. But this research suggests that a small genetic mutation that affects something like intelligence could also affect seemingly unrelated traits as well. But while the link between brain power and spunk power was statistically significant, lead researcher Dr. Rosalind Arden was quick to point out that the margin is still very small. "This does not mean that men who prefer Play-Doh to Plato always have poor sperm," she said. I sure hope not, because Play-Doh is one of my favorite snacks. More details here.