Death at First Bite

Like me, you might have once been told that the way a Komodo dragon hunts is to bite its prey, infect the wound with deadly bacteria, and wait for a delicious feast later on. Also like me, it appears you’ve been lied to! Scientists at the University of Melbourne (that’s on a magical island called Australia, which is full of charming, beautiful cunts) have discovered that the dragons actually infect their prey with venom, not bacteria. The bacteria theory came from observing the behavior of animals after they’d been bitten. They would wander around a while, then collapse in exhaustion and death. This led people to think that bacteria in the old clumps of meat between the dragons’ teeth were responsible for slowly killing larger and potentially more powerful prey. But these Australian researchers found that the venom excreted by dragons prevents blood from clotting in the bite wounds they inflict. The rapid blood loss, in turn, is what slowly kills their prey. In short, stay the hell away from Komodo dragons. And if you ever get a chance to make love to an Australian scientist, please jump at it. And take pictures. More details here.