Mr. T Cures Comas

It's stories like this that really make a scientific researcher want to throw up his rubber gloved hands in defeat. What's the point in spending millions of dollars and thousands of hours trying to find cures for debilitating medical conditions when there are miraculous healers like Mr. T roaming the Earth? We all knew he was the only member of the A-Team who could really get anything done. By the same token, we also knew he was struggling to find a job after General Mills stopped manufacturing Mr. Ts Cereal. But who knew he had Jesus-like powers? According to WENN, a child who fell into a coma in the mid 1980s would only move his limbs in response to hearing Mr. T's name. After years of begging the mohawked star to visit the poor child (what the hell else was he doing?) Mr. T finally swung by the hospital, closed the curtains around the child's bed, and prayed. Suddenly, the kid sprung to life and yelled Mr. T's name. Either this is finally proof that my tithes to the Church of the Immaculate T were not in vain, or this story is a big fat load of bullshit. More details here.