Nature's Terrifying Truths: Mutant Squirrels on the Rampage

In the latest installment of our never ending series on nature's sadistic tendencies, we learn about the rise of the mutant black squirrel in England. The black squirrel is a mutated variation of the non-native gray squirrel, which was introduced to the country by the United States in the 1870s. It boasts a higher level of testosterone than its paler cousin, which causes its dark coloration and fierce competitiveness. Basically, it's a 'roided out version of its cuddly cousins, and it's only a matter of time before these dark beasts dominate the rest of England's squirrel population. The black squirrel also seems to be more desirable as a mate to female squirrels, thus proving the old saying, "Once you go black squirrel, you never go backsquirrel." No word yet on how this development will be spun by Britain's anti-immigration movement. More details here.