Thursday, February 19, 2009

Dog Bride Stops Tiger Kill

If you’re thinking that headline is just a collection of random words, you’re only partially correct. A one and a half-year-old boy in eastern India has been married off to a local dog in order to prevent his prophesied death via tiger attack. The boy had a strange tooth growing from his upper gum, which his tribe saw as a bad omen. By what I’m sure was a scientific and rigorous method of analysis, the village elders determined that this omen was of a deadly tiger mauling sometime in the boy’s future. The cure for future tiger murder? Marrying a dog, of course. But before you get all up in arms over the fact that this poor kid will be matrimonially bound to this bitch for the rest of his life, you should stop to consider the fact that the dog will be dead by the time this kid’s twelve. Fourteen, tops. After which, he’ll be immune to tiger bites, and he’ll be a sexy, brooding widower. Plus, he’ll have that awesome mutant tooth. Hot! More details here.

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