40-Year-Old Virgins

In a study that almost definitely strains the limitations of question phrasing bias, UC San Francisco urologist Michael Eisenberg has surveyed 7,000 people to uncover the common traits between middle-aged virgins. Amazingly, “What’s the median DC for withstanding a Beholder’s gaze?” wasn’t among the questions. However, Eisenberg did learn that men are more likely to remain chaste well into adulthood than women. 14% of male respondents admitted to being virgins, as opposed to only 9% of women. Regular church attendance increased the likelihood of virginity, as well as low alcohol consumption. Oddly, women without college degrees were less likely to be virgins than their more educated peers. Are they not counting university lesbian experimentation? Speaking of, gay men were eleven times more likely to be middle-aged virgins than the straights. Which is either evidence of a massive amount of sexual repression in our flawed society or a wildly fluctuating definition of the word “virgin”. More details here.