Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hot, Hot Evolution

For the first time, scientists have shown that warm climates can cause faster and and more diverse mutations in mammals, potentially speeding up evolution. This may explain a phenomenon I've noticed for years now. The closer you get to the equator, the sexier people become. Tropical people are just more moist, more supple, more...alive. For the longest time, my hypothesis has been clothing-based. In warmer climates, less clothing is required, causing equatorial humans to select for those with smokin' bods. But it turns out the warm weather increases metabolism, which causes the germ cells that eventually become eggs and spunk to divide more quickly, thus creating more chances for mutations. In turn, these mutations may be selected for. In any case, this obviously means that in addition to being unbearably sexy, there's a good chance tropical people will also one day begin growing beautiful angel wings. Which will just make them more fuckable. More details here.