Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Idiocy is a Choice

Oh, Republicans. Even when I agree with you, I still think you're batshit insane. Case in point: House Republican Leader John Boehner (pronounced "Hard-cock"), who defended his opposition to new hate crimes legislation by claiming that while homosexuality is a choice, religion is not. Let me clarify for those of you who don't speak moron. A new hate crimes bill sailing through congress would allow the federal government to prosecute crimes motivated by sexual orientation bigotry in addition to the protections already afforded for crimes based on race, religion, and nationality. Like Rep. Erection (R - His Own Ass), I'm also opposed to this legislation. I believe that it's unnecessary, since it's already illegal to both assault and murder people for just about any reason. Like the ACLU, I also think it's a dangerous infringement on free thought, since it provides stiffer penalties for people who happen to hold racist, homophobic, or otherwise douchebaggy beliefs. And I don't think there's a real need for it considering the fact that the people who committed hate crimes against the two victims after which the legislation is named (Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr.) were all successfully prosecuted under existing laws without any need for federal involvement. But while Rep. Woody agrees with me on hate crimes legislation equating to thought crimes legislation, he also holds the intellectually conflicting view that hate crimes laws should protect religious belief, since religion is an "immutable characteristic". In other words, you choose which naked genitals make your nipples hard, but you don't choose which church you drive to every Sunday. Like I said, Rep. John Pants-tent is batshit insane. More details here.

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