Sunday, October 11, 2009

Your Sunday Sermon - Working Together

Hey guys, this is Richard Peacock. Many of you don't know this, but my cousin Thaddeus is the reverend for a small church in my hometown. When he heard that I help out with this "Godless" web site, he insisted he be allowed to do a weekly sermon, to set everyone "back on the right path." So please keep in mind his views and opinions don't represent the rest of us here at AmateurScientist.

Hello again, my flock, it is I, your humble shepherd, the Reverend Thaddeus Peacock. And I am in a sad state this week, my friends. A sad state. I began my Sunday morning as I usually do, by visiting the local mall to condemn the prostitutes/witches (presumed) readily found in Victoria's Secret and to buy a sticky bun, when I spied a sight which I knew God Himself would have wept to see-- I saw a group of construction workers working together to build a new Shakey's Pizza! Devils be gone!!

As fans of my semiweekly Godcast, "Romancing the Brimstone," will no doubt recall, God detests when people work together towards a common goal. He once spied another group of construction workers trying to build a grand tower in the desert... "But the LORD came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. The LORD said, 'If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them'" (Gen 11:5-6). So, God confused their language and scattered the people all over the Earth, making sure they would never work together again (Gen 11:7-8). Hallelujah!

Friends, I know it takes just about all your efforts to shelter your children from the Godless, liberal influences of modern society-- with such un-Christian notions like "we should all do our parts and work together." Hogwash! The next time someone wants you to help them do something, do what I do: start speaking in a new, made-up language, and pretend you can't understand them. If they repeat their request, slap them in the face and run away. That's how I got out of jury duty.

The Reverend Thaddeus Peacock is a licensed Churchologist with advanced degrees in Biblology, Jesusence, and Brimstoning. He may be reached by emailing his cousin Richard at richard@amateurscientist.org.

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