Monday, October 5, 2009

Your Sunday Sermon - Lot, The Most Noble Man On Earth

Hey guys, this is Richard Peacock. Many of you don't know this, but my cousin Thaddeus is the reverend for a small church in my hometown. When he heard that I help out with this "Godless" web site, he insisted he be allowed to do a weekly sermon, to set everyone "back on the right path." So please keep in mind his views and opinions don't represent the rest of us here at AmateurScientist.

Hello again, dear friends. It is I, your humble shepherd, the Reverend Thaddeus Peacock. And I have come once again to lead my flock away from the fields of temptation, and into the corral of virtue. Today's lesson is taken from the most noble man in the Old Testament, Lot Lotterstein (last name assumed).

Now, many of you may remember from Sunday school class that Lot lived in Sodom, that damned and wicked city full of-- Sodomites!! Now, to be fair, as a citizen of Sodom, Lot was a Sodomite too. But since God chose to spare him, we know he was the most upstanding person there, who would never sink to the depravity of his fellow townsmen.

Why, when the town folk demanded he surrender two of his male house guests (who just happened to be angles), the brave and noble Lot offered instead his two daughters, hoping that the mob would rather rape them instead of his male house guests. Just look at the gracious tone he used to ward off the rape gang at his door: "Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof." (Gen 19:8). What a host!

But Lot's honor and nobility does not end there, dear readers! For after escaping the sexual perversions of the city of Sodom, Lot and his two surviving daughters took refuge in a nearby cave. So naturally, that night, the two daughters got their father drunk and had sex with him. "And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father." (Gen 19:34-36). Now you may ask, how does this prove Lot was an honorable man? Easy, dear reader. By impregnating both his daughters, just days after escaping a city destroyed for its sexual perversions, he was simply trying to remind them of why they left. Hallelujah!

Well, my sheeplings, I must leave you now, but fret not! For I shall return next week, not unlike Lot's younger daughter, to become impregnated with your child-- of fellowship! Thaddeus Out.

The Reverend Thaddeus Peacock is a licensed Churchologist with advanced degrees in Biblology, Jesusence, and Brimstoning. He may be reached by emailing his cousin Richard at richard@amateurscientist.org.

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