Mixed Up

Look, whatever you do, don't call Louisiana justice of the peace Keith Bardwell a racist. Yes, he refuses to grant marriage licenses to interracial couples. Yes, this is the year of our Lord two thousand and nine. Yes, this sounds illegalish. But far from being a bigot, Bardwell's just looking out for the children. Specifically, mixed race children, who he believes will grow up in a society full of ridicule and torment from racists, of which he is not one. Look, he'll prove it to you. "I have piles and piles of black friends," he says. "They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else." That may not sound like much, but you've obviously not seen Bardwell's bathroom (pictured). He just doesn't believe in "mixing the races that way". Throw them all in a room together? Fine. Make them wait in line to use your marble shitter? No reason not to. Just don't allow them to enjoy the same freedoms other consenting adults enjoy. "I try to treat everyone equally," Bardwell explains. And by that, of course, he means he treats all mixed-race heathens the exact same way. Like a douche. More details here.