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Thursday, September 4, 2008

The Bear Necessities

For many years now, the U.K. army has been buying Canadian black bear pelts to make and repair the tall, furry hats worn by guards at Buckingham Palace. Even though these bears aren't endangered and would gladly tear your quivering little throat right out of its fleshy moorings, PETA, the animal products-hating organization whose leader uses animal-derived insulin to survive, has campaigned to have the bear pelts replaced by a synthetic material. The army is looking into the possibility, though it will be tough to find a fabric as weather resistant and fashionable as black bear pelt. These hats cost over a thousand dollars each, but they can last up to forty years without heavy use. And until the queen begins thrashing her subjects with a lacy iron fist, I doubt the Buckingham Palace guards will see any use that's even remotely heavy. As ludicrous as PETA can be, I don't see any problem with not killing bears for hats. In fact, I'd be fine with doing away with the hats entirely. Partly because the expense is just another unnecessary burden on the British taxpayer (much like Prince Charles' entire existence). But mostly because these hats look fucking ridiculous. More details here.

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