Beetle Junk

You might be wondering why there are so many more distinct species of beetle on the Earth than any other animal. And if you're wondering this, you're probably also wondering why people place such an importance on healthy social interaction. While I can't help you with the second problem (getting rid of the fanny pack might help [for our British readers, I'm not talking about a vagina carrying case]), scientists from Indiana University may have answered your first question. Turns out, it's all in the penis. Some horned beetles have large horns and tiny penises, while others don't have much in the way of facial decoration but are definitely swinging some pole. This has to do with competition for nutrients during development. There's a limited supply of growth, so one or the other has to be larger. And while big horns can give some beetles an advantage when fighting over mates, beetles with huge junk and tiny horns can sometimes sneak away with willing females and make love on the sly. They're like big-dicked sex ninjas, which, by the way, was the name of my college ska band. And since beetles with different sized genitals can't mate with one another, new species form very rapidly to keep up with all the various penis sizes. This, friends, is science. More details here.