Putin You on the Mat

I plan to celebrate my 56th birthday like I celebrate all my birthdays: gurgling vodka and shooting a shotgun in the air.  But such paltry entertainments are not enough for Russian Prime Minister/Dictator-for-Life Vladimir Putin.  For his b-day, he released an instructional judo DVD featuring himself teaching you how to throw a guy to the ground and beg for mercy.  I can't think of a better present than making the people of your country fear and admire your physical prowess.  This comes after Russian state media tales of Putin's heroic tiger battles and the beefcake, bare-chested fly fishing photos he nearly reluctantly released to the press several months ago.  You can catch a glimpse of Putin's judo prowess below.  But let it be know that the wisest judo masters understand judo isn't always the answer in a confrontation.  Sometimes it's best just to simply have your subordinates murder your enemies via bullet and/or radioactive poison.  Especially if those enemies are journalists and/or defectors.  More details here.