Ted "The Tubes" Stevens Found Guilty

Ted Stevens, the republican senator from Alaska, has been found guilty on seven counts of accepting what amounts to bribes from the corrupt oil company Veco. Stevens may be better known to you as the grizzly senator who once characterized the Internet as a series of tubes, or maybe as the grizzly senator who once sought to build a "bridge to nowhere" in his home state, or maybe even as the grizzly senator who didn't try to have gay sex in a public men's room... yet. He faces up to 35 years in prison, five years for each count. Since he's 84 now, he might not get out until he's 119. Maybe 110, with good behavior. Interestingly, Stevens intends to continue his bid for re-election on Tuesday, though members of his own party are calling for him to resign, including Sen. McCain, staing, "It is clear that Sen. Stevens has broken his trust with the people and that he should now step down." Personally, I am hoping that Stevens actually wins re-election, and at some point is forceably dragged from the senate floor by Dog the Bounty Hunter. Read more reasons why George Bush will probably just pardon the old bastard anyway here.