E.T. Jerky

I've always wondered what happens to all the cows found with their sex organs and mouths surgically removed by extraterrestrials. I mean, we all know what the aliens are doing with the parts they take. Mancow supersoldiers, of course. But the rest of that carcass seems like wasted meat. Sure, it might be a little rotten, but that doesn't mean you couldn't slap it in a Sonic Drive-In steak and cheese breakfast burrito, for instance. Would anyone really notice? Well, a California company has decided to do the next best thing. They've scraped the flies off all that delicious flesh, dehydrated it, and are churning out Alien Fresh Jerky (Premium). I haven't had the pleasure of tasting any yet, but I can't really tell from the picture if this jerky looks better than any other. Frankly, I don't really know what to look for in a "good" jerky, since I only eat the kind that comes in a snappy tube form. Still, I'm a little concerned about that packaging. It reminds me of the old Ziploc bag commercial where the woman in the phone booth is offered a bag of angry bees inside an official Ziploc brand bag with its yellow and blue make green seal or some off brand. She chose the Ziploc, since color combinations always mean safety. Don't see any yellow and blue making green on this stuff. In fact, is that mold growing in there? Alien mold? More details here. (And thanks to Rebecca for the tip.)