Hitler Taken Into Custody

You may remember a story hitting your local news’ “what the fuck?” section a few weeks ago about a bakery that refused to make a birthday cake sporting the name of a three-year-old named Adolf Hitler Campbell. Maybe they thought it was a stupid joke. Maybe they still feel a little animosity toward that other Adolf Hitler guy. Regardless, it created a stir. And the stir became a little quicker when little Adolf’s parents, Heath and Deborah Campbell of New Jersey, claimed not to be racist neo-Nazis, despite the fact that their other two children are named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Campbell. Anyway, everything seemed to end well. Walmart agreed to make Adolf Hitler’s birthday cake (bless them), and the media stopped knocking down the door of the Campbells’ (I’m assuming) trailer. But now child protective services has gotten involved and removed Adolf, Aryan Nation, and Hinler from their home. No specific claims of abuse are cited, but I’m thinking it might have something to do with the Nazi connection. If so, this is a little bit insane. There are millions of children raised in clandestinely and even overtly racist homes all the time, but you can’t steal them from their parents just for that. Mostly because being an ignorant racist isn’t illegal. And if the state is now classifying ridiculous and embarrassing names as abuse, then I’m afraid my friend Richard Head should be allowed to sue his parents for all they’re worth. Of course, not all the details are in. For all we know, the cops might have found a stash of bloody baby shoes under the Campbells’ (I’m assuming) trailer. But something smells funny here, and it isn’t Adolf Hitler’s moldy old birthday cake. More details (sort of) here.