Witchy Winner

Elwood "Bunky" Bartlett purchased one of four winning tickets to the Mega Millions lottery jackpot, which reached an estimated $330 million last week. And he's a practicing Wiccan "healer". According to the AP's story, Bartlett made a bargain with the "multiple gods associated with his Wiccan beliefs" that he would teach witchcraft classes in exchange for millions of dollars in winnings. The gods, apparently, were listening. Of course, this situation begs a couple of questions. Why have the gods until now allowed Bartlett to live as an accountant with the nickname "Bunky" and the real name "Elwood"? And why should he even hold to the bargain? It's not like he made a deal with the Christian/Islamic god, who would surely send him to an eternal lake of fire for reneging on a deal. The worst his Earth spirits could manage is maybe the sprouting of a curly pig's tail, and Bartlett can easily afford a good plastic surgeon now. Bunky, if you're reading this, I say take the money and run.