Dan Knows 2012

Look, the world is going to end in 2012, okay? We all know it. The Mayans happened to leave behind a calendar that stops in 2012. Sure, they left behind other calendars that don't stop in 2012, but that's beside the point. The fact that one of their calendars does is just too big a coincidence to ignore. But don't worry about it! This apocalypse isn't going to be anything like that 2012 movie with John Cusack in it. John Cusack is just an actor. A dreamy, dreamy actor who constantly needs to step up his "acting in the rain" game. And no acting in the rain can top acting in a CGI megatsunami. In other words, the real end of the world will have nothing to do with movie magic, and you shouldn't take your predictions of the future from Hollywood types. Well, unless that Hollywood type is Dan Aykroyd, of course. The comedy legend and part-time vodka salesman says that the world will definitely end in 2012, but it won't be quite so literal. "It won't be the end of the world physically as we know it, as depicted in the movie," he said while on tour promoting his vodka. "But it will be the end of consciousness and the end of perception as we know it." Adding: "...the UFO phenomenon is going to figure greatly..." So there you go. Calm down, everybody. More details here. (BTW, the asskicking Aykroyd image you see here may be purchased in t-shirt form from Brandon Bird, the painter of light.)