Monday, March 29, 2010

You Got Your Abstinence Bullshit in My Health Care Bill

Maybe you've been too busy fortifying your bunker and roasting your plumpest children in the post-apocalyptic wasteland that's resulted from the passage of the Senate health care bill to actually read what's in it. In addition to evil, fascist, Marxist provisions like eliminating preexisting conditions and providing affordable health insurance to millions more Americans, the bill also restores federal funding for abstinence-only propaganda in U.S. schools. Citing a complete lack of any evidence that abstinence-only programs either keep kids from having premarital sex or reduce teen pregnancy rates, the Obama administration almost immediately cut this kind of faith-based nonsense from the tax trough upon usurping office in a bloodless, democratic coup. But while congresspeople were stabbing each other in the back over the health care debate these past several months, Republican Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah quietly bent the bill over his desk, dropped his magic underwear, and inserted new federal dollars for abstinence-only programs. Specifically, $250 million will be set aside to brainwash horny teenagers over the next five years. So I guess you can chalk it up to bipartisan compromise when your next barely legal mistress also barely knows where a condom is supposed to go. More details here.

Blog Archive