Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Vampire Robber

NYPD are currently hunting a potential vampire who, when rebuffed by a stingy cab driver who refused to hand over the cash, bit his victim about the neck, back, and arms. Strange behavior for a vampire, to be sure. They usually sulk around in ratty velvet suits and attempt to seduce the emotionally immature into their terrible embrace. This guy, on the other hand, tried waving around a semi-automatic pistol first. That might sound like a kind of devolution of the vampire M.O., but I think this might be a step in the right direction. I'd much rather human blood sucking be the vampire's last resort. If some goth kid with bedroom eyes approaches me in a dark alley, I'll gladly hand over the contents of my wallet in the hopes that he'll spend that cash on victimless blood bank supplies and possibly a pack or two of clove cigarettes. But there's probably no way to convince the NYPD to back down. Vampire hunts give them a wide swath to practice their police brutality on nocturnal vagrants. Those splintery mop handles in the precinct supply closet aren't going to stick themselves up a homeless dude's ass. Or through his heart, as it were. More details here.

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